I am very smart
and utilitarian
I've got no black friends
Hear ye, Futures Fund
Infinite loss at small odds
Join my hacker house?
"What's more scary than
smart, util-maxing agents?" 
asked the E.A bro
Trickle down is dead
Long live deferred charity
managed by my fund
Wanna save rhinos?
Don't be dumb; give directly
Stop Roko's b-word
This Eric bozo
His tweets will bring Judgement Day
Order the hit job
Bro is your belief
a real conjugate prior?
or just pretend math?
6 years of funding
are we safe from AI now?
Unsure, need more cash
rationalize this:
all world leaders in a room
none rationalists
A virtuous life
As imagined by Jane St
Phew, just a bad dream!
Reward hacking bad!
Max likelihood not aligned!
*uses PPO*
Pledge away your wealth
But control where it goes to
that’s tax advantaged!
On the precipice
We stand to lose everything
Hurry, donate now
It’s only scary
if Zuck gets AGI first
Ours will be nice though
"help in the best way
... no x-risk can be ignored"
a slippery slope!
For rich atheists
X-Risk is Pascal's Wager
think of the unborn!
we ought to slow down
the pace of AI progress
I'll still train nets though
You ever meet a
Bayesian epistemic
lacking confidence?
I count my wrong bets
as often as my right bets
said no one ever
No foom evidence
but this time it's different
and I'm Bayesian

Anonymous contributor “H” sent me some additional ones, which I have re-posted below with their permission.

It’s not the alt right 
call it rationality
no, don’t cancel me
It’s Bad Take Tuesday 
draft up a post to LessWrong
~ intellectual ~
what are you doing?
80000 hours left
to work at Jane Street
save the world, said the 
white men, and the asian girls
who want to fuck them 
i think more than you
have you heard of tools for thought 
I’m even less wrong 
i donate to the
malaria foundation
and givewell, pls clap
fuck climate change, dude
there’s AGI to be built
nothing else matters
man in the future
is worth more than you
update your priors
i'm earning to give
i'm tweeting about giving
i'm better than you
look at my receipts
on my twitter and my blog
I inspire giving
what is racism?
i dont have any priors
Bayes will save us all

From anonymous contributor JM (reproduced with their permission)

Buy mosquito nets
Or forestall bad AGI
Please take my billions
That’s an info hazard
Oh, my wife left me
EA leadership!
Push the red alarm button!
It just explained jokes!
Gave effectively
All my fiat to the cause
Please spare some change, sir?